Lessons I’ve Learned in my 21 Years of Life

I’ve learned that…

  • Trust is the most difficult thing one can part with and if someone offers their trust to you then you should cherish it. You should be thankful that that person gave you their trust. Don’t take trust for granted. Even if someone breaks their own rules, don’t break theirs, because you will lose their trust forever. This applies to every kind of relationship – your partner, your family, your friends, your boss.
  • Badmouthing people behind their backs gets you into a shitload of trouble. There was a time when I used to believe “Well, I’m sure lots of people bitch about me so why shouldn’t I bitch about them?”. Don’t do it. If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it all.
  • This kind of has to do with the above. If you’re in a shitty relationship and you keep complaining about it to everyone except your own partner then things will only get worse. If you are not happy about your relationship then you should tackle the problem head-on. It’s sort of your fault if you break up with someone and you didn’t even try to talk to them about your concerns. Plus, it sucks on the other person who you were leading on when you actually were unhappy and he/she had no clue (supposedly). Be assertive.
  • No matter how much you want to believe in the contrary a lot of relationships and contacts in your life will be made for convenience except for those precious few who think you’re the most amazing person on earth even when you’re at the lowest point in your life.
  • Even “single-girls-by-choice” fantasize about their wedding day, even if they won’t ever admit it.
  • Men and women who are single by choice and don’t want to get married or be in a serious relationship still feel absolutely horrible on Valentine’s Day. I guess the same may be applied to most other holidays. (Aunt Gertrude at the Christmas Party: How old are you now Philip? Philip: 32. Aunt G: Oh such a shame. But I’m sure you’ll find someone soon enough. Don’t give up. Philip: *grinds teeth and mumbles* Aunt G: What was that darling? Philip: Oh nothing Aunt G. I just said I’ve been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. Aunt G: Oh that’s lovely! *in a sarcastic unbelieving tone* You should bring her over to our New Year’s party. Philip: *fuuuuuuuu*)


  • No matter how busy or broke you are you need to take a break once in a while. It does wonders to your mental health and concentration.
  • We are responsible for the good and the bad things that happen in our lives. Nobody else. We need to stop blaming each other and take 100% responsibility of our actions. Harsh, but true.


  • There’s absolutely no reason to use your childhood traumas as an excuse to your current situation in life. How you live your life is in your hands and if you believe that, then you will feel truly empowered. On the other hand, there is no shame in feeling resentment towards people who impacted your life negatively. But if these feelings are stopping you from reaching your true potential then you have to speak to someone. There are a lot of professionals and agencies that can help you get back on your feet these days. No excuses. This is your life.
  • Writing heals. Try it. If you’re angry at someone write all that you feel on paper and then read it a couple of times. What you read will mostly shock you and you will probably rip the paper into pieces and feel peace of mind. It will also help you confront a person more calmly if there’s ever the need to because everything that was boiling up inside of you would have been put into perspective. However, most often than not what you write will reveal that your anger was just based on fears, past bad experiences and misunderstandings.
  • You’re never too old to try new things.
  • If you’ve tried to be really open and patient with a person but they still treat you badly just walk away from them. It’s hard to do but your sanity will thank you later. And if these people really did value you then they will thank you for walking away from them later.

  • No matter how much you love yourself there will always be people who try to lower your self esteem. Everyone has different ideas of beauty. What you treasure the most about yourself may not be someone’s cup of tea. Just accept that and carry on.

  • Success comes through hard work and sacrifices. There’s no way around it.
  • People will judge you ALL THE BLOODY TIME. They will judge you from the way you keep your  hair, the friends you have, the job you have, the music you listen to. And you can’t do anything about it but be yourself and hope they see you for who you are.
  • I can’t really compete against others because everyone has different talents and different disabilities. I suck at sports, for example, but I love to write! So really and truly, when I pick an outfit, force myself to study or work hard at a new job, I’m doing it for myself. I’m competing against myself. And that’s what life is – competing with yourself. If all the world had equal geographical areas, history, opportunities and everyone started life with an equal sum of money given by a single global government, we would still never achieve peace and equality because we have the freedom of choice. Some of us may save that money. Some of us may spend it all. Some of us may go to school. Some may opt not to. So even if we started out equal we wouldn’t die equal because our destiny depends on what we make it out to be.


  • Despite all this, believing in the old cliche that “everything happens for a reason” will get you back on track when times get hard. Plus, it may help you realize that what you wanted was not necessarily what you needed.
  • Even though I sometimes wish I was born in another era I look back at national and world historic moments in my life with awe. These are moments I lived in MY lifetime. These are moments that define my time and my existence. It is hard to explain this feeling but it is that moment when you know you were part of something big even if it was in an indirect manner (or it happened hundreds of miles away) and that your actions at the time could yield negative or positive consequences at that precise moment in time and may affect the future of the ones that come after you.

One response to “Lessons I’ve Learned in my 21 Years of Life

  1. Pingback: How to set your New Year’s resolutions: Start a WISDOM LIST! | Tamara Chetcuti

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